In IC, we talked about next steps for me. IC validated that I had really done a lot to put things back together and that it was time for me to "get out of limbo." I am excited about that, excited about the thought of moving forward in my career, in my life, in my relationships. We do need to work on my insecurities and self-esteem though, so that we don't end up in an OM3 situation... IC is a real lifeline for me.
After IC, I went to the mall and it was Merry Xmas to me. I needed some retail therapy. Now I won't have to feel like a bag lady. Ok, not that I did, but it's nice to have a few new things. I also sprung for some sexy underwear! Go me!
H had given me a little grief about all the plans I had been making without his consent, so when I got home I discussed some plans with him and he informed me he was going out Saturday night. I did not mention that he was now doing to me the same thing that he asked me not to do (making plans without asking me if I could be around for the boys) and I did not ask what his plans were, although it was very tempting and I had to tell myself internally not to ask. At one point he had agreed that he would not be dating anyone while we were still under the same roof, but I would not be surprised if OW were back. Trying very hard not to care.
On the other hand, I took off my wedding ring today and I don't think I will put it back on. I do still love my H but at this point it feels more like handcuffs than a sign of love and commitment. It felt like an empowering thing to do, a somewhat symbolic step as I continue to detach and walk away from him.
Me54, H53 M 23, T 25 S20, S18 BD: April 2024 Moved out: August 2024
Love means not giving up on someone even if they've given up on you.
"Being right is the booby prize of life." - Susan Page
