Thank you Wendylon and FY. I've been thinking about this, and I have to agree with Wendylon. My H finally relaxed around me bc he knows the D is in progress. He is not afraid of "sending the wrong signals" even though he continues sending these mixed messages. It's true that he would've said something or just avoid the financial talk altogether if he had wanted to delay the process. He even asked if I could change my return trip so we wouldn't have to change the case management date! He can't wait.
FY, to answer your Q, I do want a friendly relationship during and after D (at least until it doesn't feel right anymore.) For example, if he got into a R with another woman, I would not want to be friends anymore, and I think he would probably stop calling me/seeing me this much. If I got into a new R, I would also stop contacting him. Why do I accept the friendship now? BC it feels like it's my only chance to save our future together.
What I'm leaning toward is asking him to elaborate if he mentions the confusion again. The D might be final in less than 2 months, so I doubt we'll be stopping it, unless a miracle happens. I've been hoping for the miracle since he said he was moving out a year ago...I've been loving, nice, fun, etc. No change. So the D is actually the only real change in our dynamics. It's just that I'm afraid of it. I don't want it, and as much as I just want to allow it, it's hard.
