I asked H to come out of my room last night after he missed dinner and evening presents w/the kids visiting friends. He came out after 11p finally when there was not a peep to be heard, and they all left for the movies.
He stayed up all night by himself again in the LR as I slept peacefully and he stayed there all day again today through the afternoon, again not speaking, just head in his books.
I settled into my b-room for an afternoon movie when in walks H, OMG now he want to offer me half his sandwich, be updated about my Dexter show, and touch my legs w/his.
I answered him about the show all the time thinking what is the best way to handle this. I don't want to start up any hard feelings because I was just feeling good. I don't want him think he can just waltz right in either.
Thank goodness he fell asleep quick, but not before aiming right for the middle (not the far edge) of the bed to he cuddle like a couple with me. I don't want tension but I will not except him as he is in my life anymore.
No exceptions, I will no longer go back to him for attention, company, or even as a coffe buddy as long as he is "what'' he is today. I refuse to be disgusted by him any more, his "angry about life" conversation makes me sick to my stomach. His choice of friends makes me angry and ill beyond words.
My S21 had headphones on saying to me the sound of his F makes him furious and sick as well. He wants him to move out, saying it would be better than dealing with his presence. I have to put that into consideration!
H said he can see that he has some kind of control here! Finances are his only contribution he doesn't threaten that, but what did he mean? HE said I haven't kicked him out yet, there have been plenty of those conversations, he doesn't hear me.
I have stopped short of locking the outside door he doesn't have a key for, but I fear that would backfire on me.
Does he really act soo extrem as to be put out? He's not abusive, or having a PA, he's dep, incognito, working, and irritating, any advise would be great on this.
Have you put your S out, did it work, was it warranted, are you better for it?
The past can't be ahead of you in the future. You don't have to figure it all out, just pick a direction. What's next...I don't know but I can't wait!
