Changing Directions

[FloydMan]

Wow Breakdown, I could have written that myself....too familiar. That is it. I also for my sitch anyway would add:

4) denying responsibility for her part in the dysfunction leading up to the A. Just won’t grasp that part was a 2 way street too. I just chose other outlets. Cannot blame him for your choices/behavior as I cannot blame my W for mine.

5) still not being an open book, honest after the A revealed and working towards trusting behaviors.

I agree with Breakdown, I see some positive signs. Don’t underestimate his hurt or minimize it. That creates a lot of resentment. MWD definitely describes this in DR very clearly. Though I admit, I needed to do a better job on my side too, but the betrayal and lying is one thing you need to own and be responsible for. He needs to do his part and he does need to be shaken up as Breakdown says. That may help him get there. In my sitch, the A was one thing but how it was handled and dealt with was a completely other problem.