In fact, I just went and read some of your earlier posts. You came here to this board just a few months before I did. Like you, I won my wife back after going through uttermost Hell. It took me longer than you, but I had a EA/PA to deal with as well as W moving in with an OM.
However, THIS struck me earlier in your piecing thread more than anything else:
Originally Posted By: Minkerman
But I will say this at the risk of getting reprimanded by the moderators, because I don't really see it being mentioned here much.
A man must be a man, for his woman. Crying, acting submissive, submitting to her every whim...those behaviours will make her lose respect for you. I know, I've done it myself and saw the result. Not good.
You can DB and still be a man. Show leadership, be decisive, and be consistent in your actions. You can still admit fault, and still do everything Michelle tells you to do in the book. But you can do it without sacrificing your masculinity. And this does NOT mean being a bully, always being 'right', or any of those ugly stereotypes we all know. There's a difference between being an alpha male and an alpha dog.
There is an author named David Cunningham who will tell you step-by-step how to do this. Google him, you won't regret it.
His principles work hand-in-hand with DB principles, and tell you how to trigger attraction in your partner, and more importantly, the things we all do to kill attraction. No attraction, no spark. No spark, eventually no marriage...if she doesn't leave you, you will end up just being her friend and shopping buddy.
His stuff has helped me just as much as DB has.
So guys...sack up and act like a man. No woman likes a crybaby.
Peace out!
I too got David Cunningham's book as a result of Sandi2's recommendation, read it and religiously applied his principles. I can honestly say that without his material I would never have reconciled with my wife. Not a chance in the world.
His material is 100% DB if you consider that DB is two things:
1. Use what works 2. Reject what doesn't work
I used what worked (masculinity) and did my damnedest to reject what didn't (wussiness, meekness, being supplicating, grovelling, accommodating, pleasing and..... verbal abuse and selfishness)
Great job. Do come and post an update here every now and again.
Best,
GH31
Me: 46 W: 46 T: 23 M: 20 DS12 DD11 DS5
W left: 01/28/08 Discovered OM: 02/26/08 W back for 9 days: 04/08 W returned 05/21/08 EA/PA - 01/08-07/09 W's MLC 2008-2014 (realised this much later)
