I think there are some positive signs in there. It at least looks like he's thinking about some things and I don't think it matters why he's thinking, only that he is.
Originally Posted By: RegretfulLA
The real story is that I allowed myself to really fall for OM1, but OM1 didn't know about it, and then when OM2 came along, I did engage in some very inappropriate texting. Nothing physical - ever. The first was an EA (a one-sided one) and the second was just me trying to feel better.
To me, this sounds like you are trying to minimize OM and shrug off some of the blame (I really hope you aren't at this point, but it sure sounds like it). This stings, because my W has done the same thing and I'll give you my side of it in hopes that you can understand your H a little better.
1) My W does not get to decide what behaviors hurt me. She may say "we didn't have sex" but how much did she steal from our M to give OM? And honestly, given my insecurities, OM1, and W's lying, do I trust her enough to believe anything she says regarding OM?
2) My W continues to minimize her mistakes. I find myself asking "Do you understand that this is wrong? Do you really get how much you've hurt me?" I worry that if she truly believes she did nothing wrong (which is the story I have gotten with OM2 most of the time), then it will likely happen again.
3) My W has used my behavior as justification for her own. The fact that she doesn't take complete responsibility makes me think that if I'm not perfect, she'll likely feel like she can run to OM3. Are those the vows we took?
I know you don't like your H saying you cheated on him, because most people associate that with sex. But flip it....how do you think he should describe it? How much detail do you want him to go into? If the shoe was on the other foot, how would you feel about it?
You know I think your H is wrong on so many things, to the point I'd like to grab him and shake him on a few of them...but OM is not one of them.
Originally Posted By: RegretfulLA
I want to feel happy like that again.
Tell me what's stopping you without using "H" in the sentence.
