Xmas was interesting...the days before W was spinning through cycles of distance, annoyance, controlling...I just rolled with it, usually good naturedly. I took the younger ones xmas shopping and got all the stuff for a nice xmas dinner. I marinated the leg of lamb for 2 days in rosemary, garlic, dijon mustard, olive oil and a splash of merlot...it was sooo good!
W emailed me thanks for helping so much, doing the food and taking the boys shopping, it really helped her, and she also thanked me for being so patient and understanding with her moods. Sunday she initiated snuggling with me when we were talking about xmas and things.
Xmas eve day she had a break down, tears flowing, saying she was so tired of feeling the way she did, the controlling, the negativity, the cycling of moods, she laid with her head on my chest. I just listened, validated every now and then, just let her get it out. She got thirsty after a while, I offered her my glass of water, she sorta hesitated and I just said that I was "pretty sure" it was okay, that I didn't have the bubonic plague or koodies or anything like that...that got me a smile and a playful smack on the arm... She initiated a hug later in the evening.
Xmas day started off interesting with her controlling taking pictures, I wasn't supposed to, I just said okay. After a few minutes she started taking pics, lol. I just looked at her with my mischievous, happy look and something changed with her after that, seeing me with the boys, idk....saw the old W for the rest of opening. Afterwards she thanked me for rolling with her after explaining her behavior. At dinner she took my hand and held it, fingers stroking mine, above the table for a few minutes. The look on the boys faces was priceless.
So it was a much better xmas than last year, for sure. I will be interested to see if the energy change sticks around...I do expect it to fluctuate of course, but we will see. Oh, and she seems to like the rogueish beard thingy I have going, said it was very masculine.
T^2
In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. - Albert Camus
Uncertainty is the very condition which impels people to unfold their powers.-Eric Fromm
She initiated a hug later in the evening.
