When tapestries of life get tangled in the loom.

[Big Bruce]

Hello all,
Thank you 25. Sorry to hear about the knife and the emergency visit with your D... hope all's happy now.

Here are some answers in order to try and make it clearer.

Nothing new there. She has been avoiding you ever since you arrived in Canada and even less since you sought custody...IS that correct?

--> Not really. There has been a period, when she was trying to "strike the deal" where she was extremely nice. She even came to the visits alone, was all smiles, and sent me into thinking, "this is it! By Christmas, it'll be be a bad dream. The end of the ordeal is near". Then, when I refused to give up on the court proceeding asking for more time with S, she went back into avoiding/coldness. Three weeks ago, she came to my place when I picked up S, and we talked well, and laughed together (remember, I even was all disturbed).
Then on the last week I was in Canada, she once came to bring S for me to visit, and she stayed around. Civil and nice.

I'm curious. Why did you feel that you were getting more connected? Wasn't she avoiding you? OR was this a tactic to get her to tell you what she meant when she said "take things slowly"?

Both, I feel that the tension and anger is less severe. I don't know, I feel things are meant with less "punishment" for me. And I understand where she comes from, in a way.
And I wanted her to say it, that she meant to patch things up between us.
(by the way, she didn't respond to that email )

I feel as if she did have reasons...

I don't want to say I'm innocent, and other people don't know all about our couple, but several guys and girls told me I was kind of a "perfect", "dream" husband (sic).
I repeat here that her reasons for leaving were, true, existing, but on a scale from one to ten of touchiness and easily offended, her reasons were not serious serious reasons for D. She hasn't tried ANYTHING to save M. No counsellor, no big discussions with me, no pastoral help, no nothing. She just took a decision and wrote that email. Very cold thought and emotionless choice.

you mean that you fear your request for more time with your son, will alienate HER?

Yes, kind of like, "Here's Son, it's your turn, see you next week, bye", type of arrangement.

2) her avoidance of you..."now"...isn't this something that began before now?[/color]

As I said, she's been acting on and off, therefore, difficult to read or know what's what.

Are you saying he just sits there and doesn't look at the skype screen or what? I mean, does anything go on in the conversations? That's relevant.

Exactly, she turns on the screen, and 2y/o Son babbles and listens to me but doesn't understand a thing. He even left his chair, and I stared at the wall for 10 minutes before they realized he wasn't in front of the computer anymore...

When I gave you a timeline of "90 days at the soonest", you scoffed & expected A LOT of progress "by Christmas". You even thought you might ask her to move in with you..... But I meant, 90 days at the soonest.

Correct. Her behaviour then was too nice to be true. I got tricked.

Thanks for all, and if there's still gray areas, only ask, I'll be happy to be as precise as I can.

Happy holiday week,
Yours,
B.