I see a couple things here in your husband’s behavior. One of which he apologized. You likely had to tell him 3 times because he was not fully grasping. Yes he heard you but he was in a state of thought and could not get past that. He is thinking. He clearly does not want to end things really...he is confused and hurt...this brings out his anger at you. I would bet he has not told his family of OM1 or OM2....he is protecting you of this is the case. I know...I have been doing the same. It can be overwhelming to internalize. Our therapist #1 told me in a one-on-one not to protect my wife and tell who I want especially my family. I cannot do that. Why? Because inside I do not want them to know and not ever ruin a possibility of reconciliation....my family would never accept her again. He is protecting you for a reason and that can bring some heavy emotions...it is a burden but one that he is willing to do...for you. There is hope in his mind but he is not sure how to handle it. It comes out as frustration. He runs many scenarios through his mind…this is why he is not absorbing what you are saying to him. About the gifts…that is his family and what they decided it is not yours to criticize but rather accept their way of it. My W’s family is all about gifts and money exchanges, but mine is not and we have a “no adult gift exchange” agreement….not a policy. So don’t look at is as policy and control but rather an agreement that is best to share time rather than gifts and takes some pressure off of everyone. It is stressful time enough to buy for the kids. Just relax and enjoy the time with family. Remember, it is not about giving gifts but rather giving of oneself. I really think your H does not want this to end, and I get plenty of hints that you don’t want it to either.
M17 yrs. me49 xW47 d15 d11
BD1-Jul/11(Affair found out) Therapy 9 months (tried 2) BD2- May/12(sep) Court Jul/13 - I got 50/50 Sold home - Aug/13 Court #2 - Dec/13 Court#3 - Apr/14 ... She lost again We settled.
