"I did say some mean things during this time and I did hermit myself ."
So it was you to begin with.
"We grew apart, but she planned an escape while I have been trying to revive our R."
There is no 'but'. She wants out because of how you acted towards her. It doesn't matter if suddenly YOU want to revive your M. Not everything and everyone should follow your timetable.
"I'am still trying, but it feels like she is stubbornly pursuing a D."
She's not being stubborn. She said what she wanted and is doing everything she can to pursue it.
"I'am into the second month of separation. I will give her the three months and by the end of February I will reevaluate my position."
You're not in a position to "reevaluate" anything. What do you plan to do NOW?
"I made all the mistakes in the past 4 months, and I'am finally strong enough to not get emotional in front of her again. ( I HOPE!)"
I think you need alot more growing in order to be strong. Keep building yourself up.
"All of my family are telling me to cut the rope and move on with my life."
Don't listen to family and friends. It is all up to you.
"I still want to save my marriage, but am aware that she must too otherwise it's useless."
No it is not. It only takes one spouse to make a lasting change that might save a M. The other person has free will to do what they wish, but it takes just one to start the wheels in motion.
You did read DR right?
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
