Please Help Me

[SM34]

I am not an expert really since my bomb was 11/27/12 so not that long ago. However, I have done A LOT of reading since my wife told me she is leaving and doesn't love me anymore after 14 years and a 3 year old daughter.

What I have learned with all the reading is that your wife DEFINITELY has someone else!! She is AT LEAST having an emotional affair (EA) with someone which will turn into a physical affair (PA) if it hasnt already.

Wives who feel their marriage lacks a certain emotional connection or intimacy or sex, will start to check out of the marriage months or years before the stage you are in. They do not however, threaten to leave their comfortable marriage without having someone to ESCAPE with. This is classic Walk away Wife (WAW) psychology.

The scrip it always the same. I love you but I'm not in love with you ILYBNILWY, and/or I need time to and space to see if this marriage is right for me (read, i need to check out if this other man OM is better for me than you).

Did you buy the book "Divorce Remedy"? If not go get it, NOW. You need to detach mentally from the stuff she is saying. Don't believe anything she tells you, and only 50% of what you see. You need to find out what bothers her about you and start fixing these things about yourself immediately. This is called a 180 and there is a thread on here for 180s in the Newcomers forum. You need to get a life (GAL) outside of your marriage. You need to eat, sleep, breath and exercise to keep your health and sanity.

Keep posting on here and give us more information on what you mean by "my marriage was coasting". What does she complain to you about yourself?

Do not pursue her, or pressure her to talk about your relationship. She is not in the mood to talk about your relationship. You need to give her space and show her that you are moving on with your life. Be strong, confident, and a man about it. Woman like that!

If you play your cards right, you MIGHT be able to fix your marriage. But there is definitely someone else she is thinking of, especially if she is still wanting to leave even though she cannot afford it. Women don't do that. They stick it out if its just coasting. Until they find someone else who will help them, or at least has promised or pretended that they will help them!!