I think we are expected to act like its ok, so we deny our true feelings about it.
That is exactly it. Even now, with everything we know about psychology, we are told that things will get better. The unspoken assertion is that we are supposed to assume that the feelings go away and that somehow we are supposed to forget about it.
So, we stuff it and pretend everything is OK. Even start to believe that everything is OK. That things are "normal". But... we can not un-know... It always remains part of us... even if it is so buried we actually don't really remember it...
Anyhow, you are bang on the money with noticing that in yourself and I'm glad you are able to affirm that, here.
Everyone... ourselves, our kids, our parents, our friends... our spouses... D affects everyone and will do so for the rest of our lives.
It's important that we always acknowledge that and by knowing and remembering (the good and the bad), we can adjust our actions and reactions, fully aware.
Yup. You cannot un- know, but you can change how you react to things as an adult and you have the ability to look at why you behave like this. Such a gift, not one any of us ever wanted, but to turn your back on it would be a crime
