Going Dark; Not Sure I Have The Strength

[NASCARDaddy]

Well it wasn't an easy realization to accept but I believe that I may have been here for awhile. Just last Saturday I was having a conversation with a friend on this subject and was asked if I would want to get back together with my ex. I think I surprised both of us when I said that I wouldn't unless there were some major changes on her part. Then I explained that the person I am trying to be isn't compatible with the person my ex has chosen to be. Therapy and distance have helped me to see that while I was not entirely blameless for what happened, neither was my ex and while I have tried to accept responsibility for the things that I did and then some, make amends for my actions, and change those parts of myself the only thing she has decided that she needs to take responsibility for is not filing for divorce sooner. And so long as that is the case I just could not go back to her for fear of falling back into my own self defeating and destructive behavior patterns.