Trying really hard to be Thankful today...

[Sweetbriar]

Merry Christmas! Just had to stop in and give a quick update before I head to bed! Had a wonderful day with my girls...we wrapped gifts, listened to Christmas music all day and laughed a lot! My mom came over and took us all out to dinner...this was a first, as I have NEVER gone out to dinner in my 36 years of life on Christmas Eve! Maybe a new tradition?? It was nice and not crowded at all!!!

D14 went to a party with her closest friend, which is also something new. We always spent Christmas Eve since H and I married at his parents house..so I let her go since this year is so different. My mom, D11 and I spent evening at neighbors hanging out and then back here to my house! Fun evening! NO TEARS all day long:)

I was just about to get all the wrapped gifts from the garage and put them under the tree when I get a text from H saying:

"I cannot stop crying"

I responded:

"Lots of magical memories we had together with our babies"

H wrote back: "Trying to find a reason to live"
Me: "Dont say that"
h: "Serious, sick of this life...think everyones life would be better without me in it"
me: "R u ok?"
H: "fine...goodnight. Merry Christmas"
me: "Good night H, Merry Christmas to you too"

So, he had to find a way to make me cry. I cried because I feel sad for him..I cannot imagine Christmas morning without my kids. It was only a quick cry, but of course, he got himself into my head and now Im worried about his well being...

I stuffed the stockings, got all the gifts under the tree and am heading to bed now...I am looking forward to a wonderful Christmas with my beautiful girls:)

Merry Christmas to all..

SB