The green green grass of home. (Part 2 )

[Soul.Searching]

Thanks everyone. Ruby, he said I'm not getting them back until the following day. There's no legal documentation, however H wouldn't be able to handle them full time. If I had doubts, I would proceed with the legal side.
There was just the one message each, that's it. I will have to check out the train video.
I'm trying Tori, I really am.
Val, I don't really think I would have been upset to not receive anything. I'm pretty sure he spent Christmas Eve/ morning with OW and her Children. I think at this point the least contact the better, for all of us. I do know I have a lot of work to do on me. I found an awesome article lastnight on our emotions and the effects on suppressing them and ways to release them.
It's hard feeling them but I think it's the right way. I'll post it here later.
Your post really got me thinking, that's what I need right now, to internalize and work through it all. Thank you.

Journaling:
Lastnight I sad, sad and upset but once I started setting up the pressents, I must admit, it was kinda fun. H or no H, being Santa is fun.
It was a little Lonley bit still okay.
This morning was different and still a little sad but it was still good! The kids were wrapped. It was pretty good, even without H there.
It's kinda errie how when it came to it, it wasent all that much different, without him there. Sad but not devestating.

So after that, we went to my brothers house to exchange pressents, from there to a family gathering. It wasent too bad, until H came to pick up the kids.

He got here and called from out the front. the kids were saying buy to people and a bunch of my family went out to wish him a merry Christmas. i guess they all miss him too. They came back in and He opened his card and pressents from the kids. He cried, I cried, in the middle of the street, with the kids in the car.
We both tried to hold them back but they were still there


Gotta go