You've made some pretty big decisions in the past few days and were beginning to move in that direction. BUT...you are still using all the old patterns to engage with H. This is why you are back to feeling like this.
Remember, just because you have gained some clarity and chosen a direction, does not mean he is on board, right? To an extent, I think we all go through this stage, even more than once. We make the changes and then wonder why S hasn't or wonder why, if we are engaging differently they are not?
We are all conditioned to behave in certain ways...especially if patterns in our Rs have been reinforcing theses behaviours, negatively or positively in the years beforehand. Essentially it is why most of us are here. We have recognized or been forced to recognize that what we are doing is not working, and it is not working for you..
IMO, the "women who cheat usually have a career to fall back on" was nasty. How do you know he's right? Does he have stats to back it up? LOL!!! I would not have even answered that one. Or if I had been considering a career I would have said, "I've been thinking of what I would like to work at in the future.." you can not engage and still not take the spew . And you can walk away, like you did.
Also, laundry??? C'mon, Regretful, in our situations, priorities are ourselves, kids, relationships, finances, family, the things that matter. Besides, when it's 4 in the morning and you can't sleep, like the rest of us, THAT is housework time. I love ya Regretful, but you have to come clean about the laundry thing with yourself. At the bottom of it all, what made this so important?
. And you can walk away, like you did.