I am in the same boat as far as not really getting any info from my w on what went wrong. My 180's are similar to yours other than the anger part. I am wondering with the apologies, do you need to also be more thankful to her. That is one thing that I have been doing.
I think a big part of it for me is that she has lost the attraction for me. It isn't one thing that I did consistently, but many little things over the years that slowly closed her heart to me.
So now every time I interact with her I try to make deposits in her emotion bank, not necessarily her love bank, as I think that would be seen as pursuit. I am ready for this to take awhile to get her heart to open back up for me.
I have not thought about being thankful but it makes sense, she did keep this family running like a well oiled clock. I think one of her LL's is positive affirmation. Good point, I'll add it to my list.
You can not change your past, but you can ruin a perfectly good present by worrying about the future.
