I had just written this yesterday - and no sooner than I posted this, and I got an email from W (It's going to take a while for me to catch onto these acronyms) She is nowhere as long winded as I am, but it was a fairly long letter. It wasn't all spite, but there were some revisionist history she brought up... but was the first time in weeks she had initiated contact. She would offer up a two word reply or no reply at all most of the time. Texts... ignored... and phone calls ignored. But she actually took the time to collect her thoughts and compose an email.

I just said thanks. I've got some stuff to go over with you later, and pretty much left it at that.

And I started the distancing immediately. I did send her a list, basically listing back to her the complaints... right or wrong... that she has leveled back at me, explaining that I have been listening, and I understand how she feels on these issues, and I disagree on a few and left it at that. Some of them were spot on BTW. Then, I closed by explaining that I think her asking for a separation is probably for the best. I need to learn to be comfortable in my own skin. I need to be comfortable walking into a restaurant and enjoying a meal by myself. I need to unpin from her.
After she read that, she spent most of the rest of the day texting me back and for… rather nicely. She said thank you for understanding.

Later, I did mention in a second email (because I'm a geek) that of the 4745 days that we've been together, I can total MAYBE 50 days (no, I'm not keeping a record, that's all the fights I could think of)... 50 days out the 4547 that I've been unhappy with her at all. For the mathematicians out there... that's 1%. I told her that while I'm going to 'up-pin' my emotional wellbeing from her, I would focus on the 99% of the time where we had an amazing family. I would cherish the 99% while I was trying to let go.

... I haven't heard anything back, and I don't plan on initiating a conversation. I told my daughter that I would be home to see her, hopefully, sometime Christmas day... so that hopefully there aren't any surprise guests when I get back into town.