Changing Directions

[mamabird]

You are right Hopeful. I can see the manipulation it now that you point it out like that. Today, it went like this - whatever h said, I just agreed with. I don't even remember the details, I was so unengaged. But I do remember him saying "You don't even understand the English language." So I said, "you're right, I don't.". He just keeps ramping it up, trying to get a reaction, so maybe I need to react even less, like say "I'm sorry you feel that way." He said "Most W's who cheat on their H's have some sort of career to fall back on but not you" and some other thing insinuating that I was some sort of loser, and I think I said, "you're right."

I know it's key to not engage... I actually did walk away during part of the conversation. I also asked him why he hadn't moved out yet if he wanted to so bad. Is that good DB or not? I wasn't hostile or even upset until he threatened to leave without me. I guess my issue is that I am tired of taking the abuse. It makes DB'ing harder. It is harder and harder to just bite my tongue because I feel so unsupported sometimes. I will keep coming here for strength and words of wisdom!