Lisa, you need to stop letting him pull you in. He knows he has lost control over you and this is all he has left to control you with. Stop letting him! He is controlling your emotions, checking that he can still get to you. He is trying to keep your self esteem down, so that he knows he can still come back, if OW does leave him. It's all about the control right now.
They do not have a healthy relationship at all and are both as low as each other. No matter what he says, I'm sure he loved you at one stage, at least to whatever state he is capable of loving.
You are worth more than letting them do this to you. You are worth so much more. Don't let them do this. If you need to talk to him about your kids, then fine but as soon as the conversation changes topics, you need to hang up. Simply say that you are going now, bye and hang up. Don't talk to her at all, there's no need to. Don't try to get to her by telling her things, your feeding their relationship right now.
They both sound like very sick individuals and you engaging in this, is giving them common ground. Feeding their unhealthy egos. Leave them be to either, live their sick, twisted, shallow lives together or to burn out. He will most likely end up the same way to her as he is to you but not while your feeding them. Let them starve.
You haven't ruined your kids lives! Who is the one still there for them no matter what? Who is the one there to pick up the pieces? You are.
You have been dealt a crappy hand but your doing your best to overcome that. That's what counts.
M: 29, H: 31 D: 9 S: 8 T: 13 Y M: 9 Y ILYBIDKIILWY 12/09/2012 ~~~~ Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its troubles. ~~~ it Emptys today of its strengths
