So today was weird. Went up to visit S. Got there and FIL and H were there. That meant that I had to wait outside and visit was cut to 30 mins instead of an hour. Which that would have been okay but at the time for my visit. H left and FIL was still in there.
We did pass each other as I was walking in to visit S. He asked me if D's were in car. I just said No and kept walking. He said -"well" like I was being rude. Not sure how answering him was rude but I wasn't about to waste any time standing there talking to him when I could be in with S.
I had to do my visitation with FIL. Which made me less than thrilled. I guess because they have been so incredibly rude to me. This week the oldest D called them multiple times so she could walk up and visit and they ignore her calls. Ironically we are close enough she can see if they are home but still they don't answer. She did finally get ahold of them and was told "she could come on XMAS eve with everyone else." So they are being petty. It was very uncomfortable for me sitting there with FIL listening to every single word I said. Also looking at pictures I brought for S. That sort of thing. It felt invasive.
After H and I sent a few texts back and forth. He had asked when he could see the D's for Xmas. I basically said whenever although I would prefer to keep them home Xmas day. Also told him of the plans at his dads and that I would not be there. In addition, they did not want to spend Xmas with OW.
In one text I responded - We also need to talk about our divorce. I am inclined to give you everything else but I would like to keep the house.
He told me we need to talk not text about that. Fine. So I call. Voicemail. Call back. Voicemail. I sent another text- I think my number is blocked it never rings through goes directly to vm. He tried to call me and of course my phone was screwy and i couldn't hear. Finally I get through - he basically says he doesn't want to discuss it then. Okay so I hang up. No problem. 3 mins later my phone rings again. He basically says he doesn't want to discuss anything now because he is upset. I said what do you mean about our divorce? Yes he says. I said at some point we have to talk about it. I no longer want to wait or be married. I am beyond that point. Way beyond. He says again I don't want to talk about it. To which I just responded well I know you have been upset about money but frankly we have less than half as much as you do. Furthermore, I don't want to worry about being homeless. This house is paid for. Again- he says I don't want to discuss it right now.
So basically we can discuss things when he wants to. I really think in his mind we were just going to float along in this limbo nightmare he has created - indefinitely. He was willing to discuss the kids but not the divorce and he wouldn't even say the word divorce. I just am so struck by the ridiculousness of it all. How could someone delude themselves to that extent? Do they really think we have so little respect for ourselves that we would continue to allow this type of situation to continue?
What am I supposed to do? Just sit here spinning my wheels while he lives with and has a relationship with someone else?
Sigh. I dunno what to even think at this point. It's such a mess. To be fair though I am done with this marriage. I am done with him. If I had my druthers I would never have to see him again. He's not a friend. He's not trustworthy, and frankly, not even someone I like. He's toxic.
However, he is my children's father. So I have to deal with him. Again, I kept my temper, didn't respond to the BS.
