No, there was no waking up. It was always evident to me that there was a need for change. I've incorporated various things over the years. It's why I've been in the other bedroom for some time now. It's why most of my activities now are things that don't include H. Are you asking why I want something better now? That has always been the case too. And I would still like NOT to be D'd and have to put friends and family through that, too. I just don't know how to make "healthy" out of what I have available to me.
And, yes, Santa always brings me what I want for Christmas. I buy my own presents.
