She still hasn't made it back. Why am I even watching the kids for her? They aren't mine. When this is what's happening hr youngest isn't my responsibility to take care of. I love the kids like they are my own but seriously? I think I'm way too nice and way too much of a pushover or something. Maybe it's a subconscious thing? That maybe if I keep doing some of the things I would normally do she will see what she's losing?
Before she left she said she was sorry about all of this. We broke up once early in our relationship and this morning told me (I didn't bring any of this up) that when she text me a week after the break up it wasn't because she missed me or anything of the sort it was because she thought to herself that maybe she was still feeling a little emotionally dead after her last relationship that ended a year before me and she was being too hard on me and us.
I keep having these moments where I feel like I'm spiraling out of control and get really anxious. Then I will have moments where I'm calm and in control. I know when she gets back the first thing she's going to do is sit down in front of the computer to email him.
