Same Old Wagon Wheel Part 6

[25yearsmlc]

Hey man. don't shoot the messenger Mr. B. I'm only reposting what I was told.

so back to your work...what are YOU doing to GAL??

[25yearsmlc]

Thanks for everyone's support the last couple of days. I really have been upset and angry. I've just increased meditation and realized I haven't been to the gym since surgery.

Sometimes I get confused on this forum from advice. I admit it.

Basically in summary:

-I can either confront her about OM txting or not. Its that simple. If I choose to confront make it simple. I find it disrespectful and hurtful and I will no longer continue to pay for your phone bill if the behavior continues. Expect backlash and don't react. DO THIS FOR MYSELF. Not for weight or pull. For myself.

so if/when she blows you off, you will DO or FEEL WHAT??? Have a plan for it.


-I need to continue to take the focus off her while not being allowed to be a doormat. As in above and the words she sometimes speaks to me in.

-I can detach and let go while living under the same roof although it isn't easy. I need to stop letting her MOODS and her ACTIONS dictate mine.


this^^ is mandatory in your life...period.

-GAL. I need to consistantly increase GAL activities with or without kids to create the space I need from her. And vice

You need to GAL AND spend time with your kids b/c as a father, it's the right thing to do AND as a man who wants to lead a healthy life, GAL is mandatory. It also will make you happier AND more appealing. The latter is a byproduct, not a goal. Make sense?

-I do have email correspondence going with EE.org. They want me to attend Philly session in February. Actually would be short flight for me.

Then what's stopping you? It's probably the single best thing YOU could do in your situation to make a major paradigm shift in your outlook on life.

I mean that 100%. I cannot recommend it more highly. Good luck and keep me posted. if you can let me know your first name or somehow convey it, I'll make sure they keep a slot open for you. It does fill up. It's life changing.

(Geez, If I say much more, I'll sound like an Amways salesman so I'll shut up about it now but I say GO FOR IT!)

-I probably need to start think about some codependcy support group and maybe even a divorce support group. (I'm pretty much divorced under same roof)

You'll get some guidance from EE on that but YES it will help you. Much of what you write here, well...it reeks of that.

There are tools in our world now. At least in western countries. WHY NOT avail yourself of them more?

Being happy in life, is allowed!

Does anyone recommend a reading about "Distancer and pursue etc.." Someone mentioned letting the bird out of the cage or along those lines. Would love to hear a recommendation

Few people will recommend AGAINST a book. I have not read it. But this is more of you asking for us to tell you what to do. I say Do what you need to do.


. I truly feel I'm pursuing W or get reeled back into her when it's convenient for her.

Your words imply that you lack choice. But you don't lack choice. You are in control but you must exercise it. So make a daily, or hourly, choice. Exercise choice. That's called being free.

You are free to make a different choice.


I made some angry posts today because frankly I'm upset. I shouldn't make posts like that. It fuels negativity. I just finished up meditation and feel a lot better right now.

When venting helps, it means it dissipates the anger. I'm for that. When venting leads us into a negative spiral, it does NOT help. I'm Not for that...

So when it fuels the negative it's good you noticed that and stopped it.

But you don't have to repress all negatives. They have their place when they're authentic for us to PROCESS and dispel... not hold onto.


I am going to try to get out and play cards tonight. I will post if I do. This is actually a huge step for me because I feel stuck in a rut lately with this. Today I felt depressed all day long. Haven't felt like that in awhile. Maybe I need to go tanning.

Did you read my GAL List??? And yes you are in a rut. You are free to make a different choice.

Like, Get Out of the Rut! (And go to "Essential Experience" in Philly...even in February - you'll get a lot out of it!!)

[ThisDayForward]

I've read all of these replies and will respond. I have the next 10 days off from work and I'm just going to try to enjoy kids and family . I will have a GAL plan for after holidays. Has to be more then cards 2x a week

[Michele Weiner-Davis]

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