I haven't read DR or DB, don't know much about MLC, but from reading this thread, I wonder if that's me.
I'm a big believer in my capacity for self delusion. Anytime I indulge in some introspection, I'm consciously aware of the bias I bring and the tendency to make myself the hero, or more often the victim.
The well-worn script in my head interpreted various actions/inactions/words of my W and kids to be evidence of their rejection. No need to say anything about it because it won't be validated. Woe is me.
Occasionally something would slip out, and the subsequent conversation with W would usually bring out some facts or interpretation I didn't think of. She's so much smarter than me, and has a much better memory. Usually left with me being or having the problems. And I'd generally accept it.
But recently I've begun to realize that it isn't all me. Sure, I've got my part to play in this sex-starved marriage, but so does she. We both need to figure out the other's love language.
So a lot of MLC stuff I identify with in this thread isn't just because I'm trying to justify myself. It's because I've got feelings that I'm trying to figure out and haven't been able to. Yeah, confusion. I'm glad I'm starting to see the road out, and that W seems receptive.
