I'm pretty sure that I've been more loving than anything else, especially lately. Of course with W having her night out, my ego became a little bit of an issue. Don't worry though, nothing was said, texted, or anything like that. Here's what happened. Last night the kids and I were in the truck for awhile waiting for a Christmas light drive thru thingy. Sat there for like an hour and half. Tried to stayed focused and upbeat with convos with the kids but there was some downtime. Anyways, I was trying to stay focused on positive thoughts, but felt myself feeling a lonely and sad. Later once we got home, they went to bed and I stayed up and read for a few. Anger came in. More of an anger regarding me continuing to definitely fight for the M, yet she's not. "Accept the love we deserve". I deserve better than this BS! One of those, I need to move on moments. I didn't sleep as well as normal either. Funny thing is I had became use to sleeping alone, but was bothered some by it last night since she was gone. I simply internalized and tried to process the thoughts / emotions. Not sure what I have, other than frustration. Oh, and I guess better self control as I didn't act out so to speak on the negatives when they occurred. Much better than the last time she went out.
Side note, I did not yet get her a "romantic" gift. I did buy her a few thiughtful things she said she wanted a while ago (eg 80s dvds that she "wished" we had so she could watch with D). Does that count? If not, definitely share a thought or two as in going out for one last adventure later on today.
And thoughts, abiyt "my" last night would be greatly appreciated.
