Today marks eight months since H's best friend was murdered. We have been very friendly over the last week or so (I really don't see the point in being any other way). He is very interested in seeing and keeping the children as much as he can, so that's good. He moved out three months ago yesterday. It all seems like such a whirlwind.

Cadet, I have read all of your threads and now just have to read the books. I have detached, am spending more time with friends, am doing more with my kids, have lost almost 20 pounds (back down to the weight I was in college) and have started a new job. Once I get settled in at work, I will start working out again, as I used to run and loved it. I'm looking forward to doing that again.

It amazes me how my H changed seemingly overnight. The story he has of how this has all gone in his head just blows my mind because it's such garbage. I confess that I wonder quite often if and when he will ever wake up and realize what he has done to himself, his children and the life we shared for more than a decade. I can't imagine what sort of pain he must be in to think that the best option for him is to leave his family and be away from them for good. However, this is his choice. I can't fix him and I can't save him. I have been gracious and patient up to this point and will continue to be no matter what happens.

I pray often for peace, patience and healing for all of us and ask my friends and family to do the same. My son prays every night for his dad to come home so we can be together as a family again. It's so sad. I tell him that sometimes God doesn't answer our prayers in the way we hope He will but that He has a plan for us.

Thank you everyone for your support and advice. It has helped tremendously. I am at the point where I am ok with whatever transpires. The last two big hurdles for me this year will be Christmas and our wedding anniversary on January 1. I am positive 2013 will be a better year and am looking forward to saying good riddance to 2012!

-GG

You're braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.
-Christopher Robin to Pooh

Romans 12:12 Rejoice in your hope, be patient in suffering, persevere in prayer.