It sounds like your H is ashamed and not sure how to handle himself. Whether he is or isn't still with the OW, I don't know if calling him out will help at all. I imagine it might cause him to further push away in his shame. If this was the first he has reached out to you in awhile, I think your best bet would be to agree with him, tell him you believe it would be best for both of you.
Two things about that. One, his decision, he's in control, he may need to feel like he's in control to move anywhere near R. Two, he's not expecting you to agree at all. Especially, living with his folks, I'm sure they have told him how depressed and distraught you are. It will throw him for a loop and he may start wondering what you have going on.
Then take that time, once you get your own place, to really take care of yourself. I wonder if once you appear to have moved on and he's not ale to get updates from his folks...if things might change? Maybe, maybe not. I wish I had a solid answer for you.
I caught mine in a lie yesterday. Haven't called him on it because I don't think it will do any good, but it ripped me apart when he did, and I knew he did. I can't expect him to be at the same place I am, but I had been priming myself to be open to trusting him again. Today, I don't know if I can.
Thanks again! My H kept telling me he is depressed but the same time, he makes "happy life promises" with OW. I feel like he just wants to use the ashamed excuse to get away from what he is doing. He has no shame, it seems to me, really....
I feel stupid that I somehow "gave" more control to him, he cheated, but I kept apologizing for my part, I feel like now he doesn't really feel guilty about it anymore, and thinks it is all my fault.
I really need to get my own place soon. I realized that I can't fake it with his parents much. I do not know what they say to him, they are seeing him for christmas, and I am not. I showed disappointment and said to in laws that my parents are a bit disappointed that H wouldn't even come and say hi to them when they are here. I probably shouldn't have said that because now, they probably would tell H I said so. I just feel like there is no right way to do things Also, found out today that H is moving in with the OW till she is done with her school. And he was telling me to " focus on career".
So, I really can relate how you felt when you caught him in a lie...... Are they serious? Their lies are not even hard to figure out and they did it anyway to us. It hurt so bad I know!!! I had that feeling before too...And now I can't....I just feel like I can't talk to anyone about this, because apparently it doesn't make sense to most people I know.. How are you today? I hope you feel better.
Also, found out today that H is moving in with the OW till she is done with her school. And he was telling me to " focus on career".