LJGH - I just want to stop by really quickly here. On my way out the door. It sounds like you already have the answers to the questions as to why you may be struggling. Get back on the med if that helped (btw, I take welbutrin too... good stuff), use that stop sign, and avoid the old behaviors.
I too struggled a bit the past few weeks. Also put way too much thought into the past and OM. Got a bit insecure when W got mad at me. It occurred to me though that I am probably the source of my own struggle. I am not doing what I am telling others to do, ie, put the past behind me.
Listen, after what we have been through, it is difficult not to think bad things when we are going through tough times with our spouses. But if we don't, we create our own unhappiness.... and we begin to forget the things that we learned here and with the books. Regardless of whether we just had the bombed dropped on us, or if we have been piecing for a year... we cannot control what others do, including our spouses. We have to learn to understand that not everything is personal. We have to learn to trust.
When you think about it, it is no different with a spouse who has left us in the past than it would be with a new bf/gf, or a new spouse. Nothing in life is guaranteed. Not our marriage, and not even tomorrow. Do YOUR thing. Be happy. Continue to be the change that you want to see in your H. Hold his hand (figuratively) and show him how to be happy in your marriage.
Keep posting if you continue to struggle. I will check back in after the holiday.
Merry Christmas!
Denver
M 43 X 38 T 13 W moves out of home 11/2010 Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012 I request divorce 5/2012 W moves home 6/2012 Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015 I leave 3/2016 process of divorce
