I don't think you can force yourself to trust. Let go of that but when those doubting thoughts creep in remind yourself that you don't know what she's doing but it could very well be what she told you, working.
Only you can control your mind and where it goes.
I disagree with the first piece a little. Trust is a choice and you either choose to trust them or you don't. You may have a history and valid reasons to distrust, but that doesn't preclude you from choosing different right now. It's difficult, especially when your M isn't doing well, and there's a lot of negative history, but you can do it.
I agree with the 2nd piece completely though, and think that's where you have to practice stopping the negative thoughts.
Originally Posted By: RegretfulLA
I will say, Spartan, that my H made HUGE assumptions about what I was doing, thinking, believing all the time. He accused me of stuff that wasn't remotely true and wouldn't listen to me when I tried to explain. Yes, in my sitch, he has a reason not to trust me... that is very true. But it all started with assuming things on his end, which came out of his own insecurities about himself and our R.
True, my own "negative thoughts" were always 10x worse than reality. Complaining about everything and not being understanding eventually let my W to just lie about everything, so we got into a big circle of me questioning, her lying, then me questioning more, deciding it must be terrible for her to lie, then fighting more, etc etc.
Eventually you have to just decide they will do what they want, regardless of what you want and think and continue to live your life.
