you talking about your h's talk about being "trapped". i think this is what mwd says rite out at beginning of mlc chapter - that they panic and think everything in the world that is wrong with their life (them) - is represented by us &home - that they think (in their demented state (my words- her sentiment) IS that getting rid of us will be the end of all their troubles.
sounds like he's following the recipe to a "t". what the heCk one does bout i and not being able to Stand it anymore- is your call. ( i'm thinking).
you're having a ton of stamina and guts - we're out here rooting for YOU -
i AGREE WITH you that you and family are his ability and link to youth and ability to live it allllover again and again with them and their kids. men don't seem to "GET" THAT. at least not mine- maybe not yours. i think being around kids keeps me young -
MY h sees ME as obstacle to his being happy- young' "himself" and that he's "lost himself" in the relationship. he says (that i think) the "relationship is more important than the people". he's nuts of course- relationship is merely a word to describe our - well, relationship. what the hell else could one call it-
that he decided to get involved with someone else and enjoy that particular "excitement" has nothing to do with me. his age-smoking-retirement-sick father- etc. is allll his junk he's trying to pin on me. how i "fight" that- don't know- don't think i can.
i guess this is the part where we have to let them TAKE THE JOURNEY ON THEIR OWN. AND TAKE CARE OF OURSELVES BEST WE CAN.
don't have a stinking idea what it all means- i think my h thinks like yours- he doesn't want to "be with me and be old" (my words- i think it's how he feels too) - somehow we've come to represent stability & (i'm guessing) boredom and end of adventure.???????
what else i don't know.
man brain- uhg - me no understand. me go crazy- me want fun & excitement too. girl want life, girl want fun, girl want sex - girl want to tie man to stake and let ants run allover til tickle to death.
my h is mad at everything in the world i think, do or say (if put upon to explain). he can't even articulate- finds dopey things like once I cut my hair (sister died- kill me, i went a bit over that edge - it is my stinkin head!!! ) - i mean, really really un-thought-out wacky and small things. an icky bandaid on my finger - ? no kidding- he can't even say what it is , he doesn't even know- he pulls stuff out of his A_s. just mad and i'm the only one here- ta da, i get it. you too.
WE'RE THE ONLY ONES WHO HAVE BEEN IN THEIR LIFE FOR SOO LONG- IT'S GOT TO BE OUR FAULT OR ELSE - DA DA DUMMMMMMMM- IT MIGHT BE THEIR FAULT. OH NO - CAN'T BE THAT - THEY'RE JUST NICE GUYS IN A BAD PLACE - (CLEARLY OTHER GUY'S FAULT) i mean, rite- ????? goonballs that they are...
mwd said that too- they're mad- they lash out - and you're the guy within lashing distance. you get it.
i don't know- i don't know - i don't know- they are aliens - you told me that- we're not supposed to listen to one thing they say- not supposed to "take to heart" one thing they do-
they THINK they are trapped rats - rats of their own creation. traps of their own creation- well, i don't see either of them gnawing their legs off to get out of this "trap> . they lie and lie and lie and keep us around- wtf
okay- i'm outta here- will check back later.
it's cold and blowie and lonlie and even a snow flake or two- i'm playin christmas music- making some cookie dough and then will call and se if i can dig up my walkin buddy. i'm keepin busy- do something christmasy with kids- cookies- goofy ornaments- shove him to the bakc of your mind and existence.
smils and act as if- and then do it- have a nice evening. maybe take kid or daughter and go drive around and look at people's house decorations? something- get the heck out of the house and out of his poisonous little circle.
run - run like the wind. good luck- xxoo ((((( ))))))
