Almost Over...

[Dewayne]

Update:

Yesterday we went to our Daughter's christmas party. Lots of ppl there. For one it sucked bad. ALl the loving parents were holding each other and etc... my wife and I... not so much. She wasn't really cold, just distant.

When we got there, she asked me if I wanted to go to the movies and see The Gaurdians with her and Jordan.(daughter) I said sure. They've already seen it. She works at the theater. So.... yeah. Not sure why.

Afterwards, we went to McD's and let her play and ate. During dinner she kept saying "Well what do you wanna do tonight?" It threw me for a loop. 3 or 4 times. Then she asked 2 or 3 times if I was sure I wanted to go to the movies. I told her "Yes. I'm sorry I'm not so... 'happy'. Just a lot on my mind" She said "I understand. So you wanna go then right? Lemme call to see the times" It was too late. SO we drove around.

We ended up taking her home and she was making plans on when we could go see the movie, or any movie. As she was talking, she was tapping my hand, and scratching it a bit as she talked. I thought "calm down. This is nothing." then I remembered, I told her a while back. Well, let me back up.

Weeks ago I asked her if we were making progress because she was hugging me more and holding my hand etc. She said "I was just being nice" I told her "DO NOT be nice to me. If it's not sincere, don't Fking do it. I'm not ok with that. It's B/S. That's stringing me along" and she said ok and hasn't done it since. After ignoring calls and txts and a fb msg for a week or so, she dropped Jordan off and gave me a big hug and told me I had worried her.

Now this. So, I remembered that I told her not to do things like this unless she was sincere or liked what she was seeing in me. So I don't know what to think about it. I'm trying to be guarded.

So back to the hands. She left her hand on mine, scratching my hand in a 'touchy feely' way. She did this not once, but twice! So I bit the hook. I grabbed her hand.... she squeezed.

To be honest, my heart raced like I was on a first date. In fact, when telling one of my good friends about how she took me inside her bro's home (where she's living) showed me her room and chatted a bit, grabbed my arm and told me she had a good time etc... he said "Sounds like a first date to me"....

I'm scared. To be honest. I'm JUST NOW getting to where I can enjoy my games. I am just now getting to where i don't cry as much. I can't afford to be strung along only to get hit by a truck again.

I'm being cautious, but it felt soo good to be so close to her once again. She seemed herself finally.

Sorry for so long. Also have more background.

She started taking Celexa an AD in June. We were ok in june, she was just stressed from her day job and helping with the Haunt. July the boys showed up to act. August we had a fight. Sept. She became cold and Oct. she treated me like a dog. End of oct... she was due for a refill of the AD, I chunked the bottle at the Dr.'s request. She hasn't been on it since. And now, 2 months later she's acting more herself. May have something to do with it, I don't know.

Thanks for your time guys.