he is testing the crap out of you to see IF you will fight, that he matters enough to you that you will fight to keep him
I really appreciate your posts on this, I am so close to the sitch and between my anger and grief, I can't think straight. Your so right he's testing will I fight for "him'' as well as do I have enough fight to get rid of him.
He doesn't know which way to go and he has said that very clearly to me. I asked him point blank yesterday and he said he wants me, but he can't let go his connection with ea.
he wants to be as sure as possible that he makes the right choice, since we ain't getting younger ya know...his testing is trying (in a weird way) to assure him that the "home-body man" will be the right choice 20 years from now.
Exactly, he has said this to me. "I refuse to stay w/you and get old" "I will not be a grandfather, retire, or wear old man clothes" "I will wear my spikes, run around, keep my hair long, and jump into the lake"!
What I don't get is why do I (family) represent ''old man'' life, we have 4 adult kids, what's a better way to stay young? We are all active, it is H who has rarely gotten off the cough, and only wears his spikes for work maybe 4x a yr.
He has inflated being home as a prison stifling a life he never really went after anyways. It's all a fantasy, and fear of getting old. As weird as this sounds it's almost as if he is not near a cough, tv, or bed he might be able to fight his lazy life style. It's not working.
maybe your h is gets your message that you're no pushover and it's scaring him. (then he panics & gets icky guy?) trapped rat sort of and scared for himself & his happiness?
That's funny you say this he calls it a hole he's trapped in when home, because it's too small, the trap is in his mind, he's trapped in his own head.
The past can't be ahead of you in the future. You don't have to figure it all out, just pick a direction. What's next...I don't know but I can't wait!
