LBS gearing up for the long haul

[labug]

DM, I've been thinking about your sitch this morning because there are some parallels to mine. My H also told me that he felt I abused him and he was right. I was emotionally abusive, I never hit, never raised my voice, never called him names but there are many forms of abuse.

Anger and abuse in relationships are about blame: "I feel bad, and it's your fault." Even when resentful, angry, or emotionally abusive people recognize their behavior, they are likely to blame it on their partners: "You push my buttons," or, "I might have overreacted, but I'm human, and look what you did!"

It wasn't until I could really accept that I was abusive (and it took a long time, it's a horrible thing to realize and admit about one's self)that I could begin to work on changing me.

And our Ss don't want to come back to that. They may never trust us emotionally again. They might be friendly from a safe distance but the danger meter inside them will keep them from getting too close.

But we can still change because in order to be happy, we must change.

We have that power within ourselves.