Yep- Tori - You seem to have a pretty good gauge on where I am.
Today was a good day but a sad day. Lots of GAL'ing. Lunch with great friends and just spent time hanging out. Then home and a Christmas dinner/church with D's. We had a wonderful time. The D's also had a snow day today so that made them happy!
I was a bit sad though. Miss my S. Talked to him but still.
Not too many thoughts of H. That's good. Otherwise just a pretty easy day. Tomorrow I intend to sleep in a bit then we are going to the library. lol I have a 4 day weekend and I intend to spend it in a book.
Not sure if I mentioned it but the D's do not want to celebrate Xmas here without S. So we aren't going to. FIL did finally stop and invite the D's to Xmas Eve up there. Of course, never spoke to me. No matter. I didn't ever intend to spend time up there anyway. H has never contacted D's one way or the other. My assumption is that he will see them there.
It really really really bothers me that he neglects them, imo. I guess I also sort of take it as another rejection of me. They all look like me and of course we are very close.
H now tends to just act like things are hunky dory like we are friends when I see him. It's horrifying to me. I feel like with friends like that I certainly don't need enemies. It seems to be the ultimate denial on his part. Oh well. It really doesn't matter. I just keep trying to maintain distance.
I remain upset with the relationship or lack of relationship he has with the D's. I never say anything to him or them. Frankly, I do not want to draw their attention to it and I have learned that if I say anything to him he automatically rebels against anything I say and gets angry then uses the anger to say see what you've done. So no point in giving him that opportunity. I guess I will just let it ride.
The holidays are hard. :-( Hope you guys are feeling less melancholy than I am.
