Confused at Where I am - Part 2

[GH31]

So in reading other threads it seems its best to keep the wife in the house as long as possible?

That's not altogether true. For a period of time yes, but certainly not for ever.

Does that mean I should consider letting her spend SOME time at home as well as the other place or do I enforce the separation as if you are gone, you are gone?

The latter.

Let the Reality Stick beat as much crap out of her as possible.

You are not to do this - that's the Reality Stick's job.

Let OM and herself meet all of her needs. The bubble will burst soon enough.

Tell her in hushed, gentle, soothing yet blunt tones that you are no longer in a position to have any contact with her whilst she's active in an affair.

Pitch, uttermost blackness works best. I flew to the other side of the world in my sitch and severed all contact with my wife whilst she was living with OM. She followed me back 3 weeks later.

I dont like the thought of cake eating.............

Neither do I.

If you let here parasite off you (she will try) she won't respect you.

And if she can't respect you then she can't love you.

Now to your questions on SM34's thread...

GH31,

So if my wife wants to be out of the house for a few days and then come back and so forth, you think it would be best to allow that?

No, not for one nanosecond.

However, choose the tone carefully when laying that boundary down (see above).

It feels wrong to me

BECAUSE IT IS.

...but if this will help me in the long run to help our relationship then I will be prepared to consider it.

It won't help.

I have never seen any man here or anywhere else get his wife back by being a grovelling, supplicating, pleasing, accommodating, spineless wussbag. Not a single one and I've read LOTS. I know you are not this type of "man", JamesH.

You have great instincts and you wrote in an earlier thread that you had ignored them before the bomb dropped.

TRUST THEM AND HEED THEM THIS TIME.

GH31