I'm glad you all agree and my common sense is not being muddled by emotion/past experiences.
Labug, I don't think I can be friends with him w/out some sort of expectation. If in the future I notice this friendship is not letting me explore other R's, then I will lower the level to 1 or 2. I'm sure he would do the same.
Andrew, Level 3 is fine. Yesterday was way beyond level 3, and that was the problem. If I hadn't been strong with the boundaries, it would have ended up at level 6 or 7!--or whatever level is reserved for friends with benefits. I value myself a lot more than that.
So today has been a blah day. Ready for all these holidays to finally be over. I've also experience fear about the new court date (1/22--got letter in the mail today.) I wanted to disappear and start a new life in a foreign country. I had that feeling of just wanting to run away wherever no one knew me. I guess I still feel that way. Not good. It'll pass.
Texted my H about meeting to go over the papers tomorrow. I want to get it done. No reply from him yet. Andrew, there's no special reason except that I don't want this to drag on forever anymore. I won't be doing his work, but I will cooperate as much as I can in my role of "defendant."
