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Lost, your wife is angry at you because you have to be the bad guy in order for her to justify leaving.

And yes she does want you to be angry and miserable. Another way for her to justify leaving.


Me 37/W 32
S 5
D 4
ILYBNILWY 5/12
Sep 8/12
Starting to find myself 11/12 on
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Exactly what eyesopen said.

My eX did the very same thing.
After some time passed she suddenly started going off on me or being rude for no apparant reason and with no real explination.

She also got mad at me for doing so well.

Only thing that makes sense is what eyesopen says. Trying to justify their choice or enforce their illusion of how horrible we are.


Together for 8,5 years.
S2
Interest in OM.
She left 29.09.12 b/c we couldn't work things out.
No signs of OM, not digging.
Living in seperate homes, sharing custody.

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All this does not make it any better. But i think I'm still going to give Her the xmas gift I got her and my step kids.

I just know that what I got my step daughter my WAW is more than likley to realy become upset at me.

I know WAW is going to take it as if She is a failure and how could i pay this big Fine for her with out talking to WAW.

Well to bad i guess. I worked it out and it is done i prayed over this and this is what hs been done. So All I wanted to do is try and help the pour kid. give her a 2nd chance at life. She is doing well so i say reward the good..

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Originally Posted By: lostforever
I do have to say I truly have not been talking about her at all. I do my best to keep to myself and talk about what i have been doing and how they have been.


I'm glad to here this.

I agree with EO and UF... W's anger is all on her. Don't allow this to affect your happiness... separate yourself from her feelings. You are not responsible for them.

Regarding the gifts I'm starting to think you should just save your money. Give to those in your life that appreciate it. Or better still, those in need.


M: A really long time.
Crisis: 5 years.
She's still worth it.

Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl
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FY

Well I have to give the gift to the Step kids I already told them i would. The one was a court fine and i dont mind paying it. She is doing so good these days has a job just needs help getting over the past fines she had.

As far as the WAW I have 2 tickets to see PINK in march next year. I dont care for them so I would not use them. But I will see how i feel when the day comes. I may just find someone to give them too

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I decided to get gifts for her and her close family, mainly S related things like photobooklets of S etc. Trying to keep it theUF-neutral.
It seems everything gets taken the wrong way, so it probably will rock the boat somewhat, but so be it.

Maybe I shouldn't give, but as I am, I think the most important thing is NO expectations, NO fuzz, NO argument.

So my only advice/take on it is, if you give the gifts don't let her negativity affect you. Let her reactions respectfully brush off. If you feel good about giving it, then don't let her decide you should not feel good about it.


Together for 8,5 years.
S2
Interest in OM.
She left 29.09.12 b/c we couldn't work things out.
No signs of OM, not digging.
Living in seperate homes, sharing custody.

Joined: Aug 2012
Posts: 305
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Originally Posted By: theUF
I decided to get gifts for her and her close family, mainly S related things like photobooklets of S etc. Trying to keep it theUF-neutral.
It seems everything gets taken the wrong way, so it probably will rock the boat somewhat, but so be it.

Maybe I shouldn't give, but as I am, I think the most important thing is NO expectations, NO fuzz, NO argument.

So my only advice/take on it is, if you give the gifts don't let her negativity affect you. Let her reactions respectfully brush off. If you feel good about giving it, then don't let her decide you should not feel good about it.



Good point . I can not let her make me feel bad for something that is very possitive.

But we all know much eaier said then done

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Last Wednesday was the one year anniversary of the death of my wife's Mom, the incident which set her on her MLC course where she decided she no longer wants to be my wife.

Before I left for work, I set up a candle and card for her to find when she awoken. Nothing mushy about how much I love her, just a little something to let her know I remembered, and was thinking about her. She never said a word about it.

I made sure to have NO expectations, and did not ask her anything about it.

LF, you may not like PINK, but you may find the young single women at the show somewhat interesting... just sayin'


M: A really long time.
Crisis: 5 years.
She's still worth it.

Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl
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FY I know what your sayin, well for me at this point I dont think I could go to that with an other women.

That has been on my mind some what. you know just maybe light daeting and i just cant get myselt there yet i guess. I just think all i would be doing is talking about the WAW or comparing her to the WAW. So I think I may need time for this.

But I still want to give this every chance I can. Call me crazy i guess...

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I'm not talking about dating, just going and being there among the youngsters. Surly you could find one person who would like to go with you that wouldn't be a date.

Dress like the kids and just have fun doing something new for the night.


M: A really long time.
Crisis: 5 years.
She's still worth it.

Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl
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