My guess is that maybe she meant you are making her family hate her. You and I know this is not the case, but it is her perception. Because you talk to her family, and they side with you, she sees their disapproval of her actions as hate for her that was initiated by you.
This is why DB advises us to not discuss our relationship with the family. Once it gets back to the WAS, and it always does, it makes them feel alienated.
My guess is when she talks to her family, they feel compelled to give her their two cents on your sitch, because they think they are helping. As you can see now, they are not.
My advice is to tell the family to not mention anything to W about your sitch. That’s pressure on her and she doesn’t like it. Next is the hard part… stop discussing your sitch with them, especially anything negative, including your feelings. This is the only way to get them to stop pressuring her. Think of it this way… anything you say, (or convey via your actions or emotions) may very well get back to your wife. Remember this and act and speak accordingly.
Tell your wife you don’t intend to ever get between her and her family, and then make it so.
M: A really long time. Crisis: 5 years. She's still worth it.
Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl
