Wow! That's an interesting story with a lot of twists and turns! Haunted house, hearse, theater, old church, you sound like the kind of guy I'd want to hang out with :-) Sorry to hear you're going through this pain, most of us here can unfortunately relate. First let me assure you that regardless of what happens, it WILL get better. The crying WILL stop and you WILL find your self-worth again. It will take time, but you will make it, and you will be surprised at how strong you really are.
But just know that it is NOT over until you decide it's over. There is hope for as long as you care to hold it in your heart. Your W needs time and space, that's what you've got to do for her, give it to her. Pull back. Detach. Work on yourself. Take stock of your problems and do 180's on them. Stick with your 180's, make them part of who you are. Give her time to notice and appreciate your changes. Don't sweat the D pressure, D is just a piece of paper. Many couples have reconciled after D, it's not the end of anything.
