Yikes. I hope none of it is beyond our control. That said, it's only within our control if we are aware of it.
What did I do back in college? I thought that we could continue a relationship even though I was in one country and she was in another. If I could go back I would take a trip to go see her, have an awesome time, make love, then have a conversation regarding the practicality of having a long distance relationship as we began college. I would much rather have ended it that way. Would I have had the strength to do that? I don't know. This time around I would go back about 3 years ago and start engaging more in life, sort of like I am doing now. Live and learn. This girl has been my teacher. I am no where near as confident with my life right now as I need to be. When I wake up in the morning I am not comfortable, don't feel safe. But thus far I have kept going and kept the changes up. I no longer consider myself working through or figuring out the changes I have taken on thus far. This is me now, I am living these changes. Am I 100% sure they are all the right changes? No, but I'm confident enough. And I am taking advantage of my friends, family, and this board to use as a sounding board. I also think we can control much, much more than we assume. Our actions influence the actions of others is enormous ways. We can't overlook that.
