In Limbo

[AJW]

@AnotherStander

This moderation thing is tough because it takes so long for my posts to show up.

Thank you for your wisdom and encouragement. I really hate where we are right now because she's almost acting like nothing is wrong and she's just putting on the happy face. Part of me just wants her to leave if she's only staying for our daughter. I so want to give her that ultimatum; "If you're not here to fix US, then just go".

To answer your question, no I'm not continuing to do the 'I love you' and plan dates, etc. etc. I'm mostly acting like an acquaintance to her now (which matches her behavior towards me) and I’m doing everything to focus on our daughter and meeting up/getting support from friends, etc. This is a fairly recent development though – last few days. It’s so frustrating though that she’s saving all her energy and happiness for her work friends, etc. and completely ignoring me and OUR married friends/family that would hold her accountable for her actions. She’s so tired and exhausted around me, but manages to go to work parties until late hours and go to NYC for three days with her sister and niece, etc. The OM and other men she’s built relationships with openly post on her Facebook.

Anyway, sorry for the rant. It’s also tough to GAL during the holidays because we’re doing all the family visits, etc. My therapist says to just be present but work on getting healthy myself…she’s familiar with Michele Wiener-Davis and generally supports her work. My wife had an individual counseling appt. with our marital therapist this morning. “How was the appt” I said. “Good” she says. Moving right along…