She assumed that I was ready to give up and she unloaded about how unhappy she’s been (which she fairly easily hid from me for some time). She had completely hardened herself to me and I was too consumed with my own thoughts and selfishness to notice.
Don't underestimate this, I have first-hand experience at just how impenetrable that wall is. When she says she's done she well and truly means it. That doesn't mean there's no chance, but it does mean you've got a long road ahead of you.
Quote:
But instead of throwing in the towel, I’ve made it clear that I want to save the marriage and that I love her.
That's fine that you said it once, but don't say it again and definitely don't beat her over the head with it. Every time you say ILY you're reminding her that you both want different things. It's pressure.
Quote:
I’ve seemingly done all the wrong things up until now but am trying to turn a corner.
That's OK, nearly all of us started out on the wrong foot.
Quote:
I’ve tried to rekindle the romance, plan dates, pursue her, reason with her, spy and monitor phone calls/texts/social networking, etc. etc.
Just to be clear, you're not doing any of this now are you?
Quote:
I want it to be fixed and I want her to give up this other life she’s been leading and see us as a family again.
And it may happen, but it's going to take months and months of hard work on yourself.
Quote:
And I so badly want to be a better man all-around.
This isn't optional if you want to save your M. This is what you must do. Become the spouse only a fool would leave.
