Is this the place for me?

[Cadet]

Is this a good thing? "Following the script" seems to imply I am walking blindly rather than with intent.

I was not trying to imply that it is good or bad, rather, where I as an outsider see you.
And that is not implying anything either other than the words I read on the page.
I think reconnecting is a good thing.

And if you are in AA(not saying you are) there are steps to recovery.
We as LBS have similar steps to recover ourselves.
They are not much different than our spouses either.
You can not skip these steps or try to run ahead.
You must plod along and experience each one.

Did you read the thread on reconnection?

My heart was broken. I continued on. She met her future husband a few years later in that university. I met mine a few years later while in college. We had no contact after the break up.

One major difference this time, and this has also been very important to realize, is that she also had a broken heart this time. Her heart broke within our marriage when she determined that I wasn't going to "wake up" and that she was going to move on.

So you went back to your teenage years after X1 to try to FIX what went wrong.
And you repeated history again.
Interesting.

I do not intend to be asleep in my life any further.

Maybe you are starting to wake up.
I am not the one who can judge that.
My suggestion again is to learn the script,
learn about relationships and love.
Throw everything you know out the window and start over.
With a beginners mind.(DB102)

There is a ton of info here.
I personally have read over 30 books on the subjects and I can see that for my next relationship where I can try to change my history.

Hope that helps.