Almost Over...

[Dewayne]

Hi. My name is Dewayne.

Together 11 years.
Married 7 Years
3yo Daughter
9 years difference. She's 27. When we met I was under the impression she was in her 20's. By the time I found her age I was in love. We discussed it and said to continue.

I thought we had her "sowing the wild oats" out of her system before marriage. I sent her out shopping with her cousin to get some girl time in, and it they started hanging at a tattoo shop. We argued about her coming in too late twice and she got mad, kicked me out of the house. (broke up) then she went and had sex with Daniel. 3 weeks later we made up. Shortly after we married.

My dad was abusive. Physically with us boys and verbally with my mom. He didn't really have a dad growing up. I got some of his traits. I treated her like shlt sometimes, not all the time but I was still a loving husband. We didn't communicate a lot. Hardly argued though. I became angry all the time early in the marriage. She left me 5 years ago and handed me papers. 2 weeks later, I was back and we cancled the Divorce. I found out she was interested in one of my friends. She stopped it before it went somewhere. I understood, I was mean to her. I changed quite a bit, but not completely.

Years passed, we'd communicate better and seemed happy. I still said some things that hurt her feelings and I didn't give her enough emotional support or affection. Whenever it came up she always said she was happy. Even asked "why are you still with me? You're so good to me, after all i've done" This actually came up several times.

We decided to build a haunted house. Sold our hot rods and house. Before we sold the house back in march of this year, I stopped her in the drive way "Before we take this leap, I need to make sure you're happy, that you're happy with us, our marriage, me.?" She said "Absolutely, hadn't been happier"

July actors and volunteers started showing up. 2 boys, a 19 and a 20 yo showed up. Once I saw them I knew I should send them home. But I didn't. Inside of 2 weeks she was spending more and more time with them. They were huggers, and flirty. About a week before they showed up, I started seeing my wife in a new light. I was realizing my love for her, realizing that I still wasn't that great of a husband and I wanted to tell her in a heart to heart conversation and that I wanted to do better for her. But by the time I realized what was going on with my feelings, she was flirting with these guys. I talked to her about it and she said "You need ot be more trusting of me." So after that a young girl showed up and flirted as well. So I flirted back. Conversations got intense, as far as her wanting a threesome with my wife and I. I realized early on that the flirting was getting out of hand and told my wife. I told her I was sorry for flirting with the girl and wanted us to stop it before it got too far.

So afterwards, I asked for some time for us to talk again. She said ok. We made an appointment for her office at the haunt and she was late. I go out front 20 min's later, she was out there hangin with the boys again. I did most of the work while they played and hung out. But they did do some work. This is where it blows up. I get her to come into the office and she said "What's up?" I told her she forgot to meet me and she said "Well we're all outside having fun, why don't you come join us?" I got mad instantly and almost hit the desk and said "You just don't get it to you?" in 3 min's I had made a mistake I've done a few times. I told her "Maybe we should get a Divorce" I never meant it when I said it and she always instantly changed attitude, but this time she said "Maybe that's not a bad idea"

Long story short, I went to sleeping in the theater (90 ft from the apartment that was built inside the old church we lived at) She ended up going out at night, going to the boys' house. Partied some. Locked our daughter in the bedroom one night and we found Daughter roaming the halls screaming for mommy and daddy. So I found her at the boy's house at 3:30. This happened at 3:30 am. I found her in OM's room. he was passed out naked with a pillow on his crotch and she was in closet (without a door) She looked VERY shameful.

We went back and forth. Had a false Reconcile a few weeks later. She was a different person> became so cold to me. Then came the "I love you but not like that anymore" speach. told me she wasn't attracted to me etch. Which is weird, everything seemed wonderful up until the boy's showing up. Sex was even better than ever... prior to the blow up.

Oct 18 (Day we got marriage license) She told me she wanted D.
Oct 20, D's birthday. She barely treated me like a human. Did hold me once. No one showed up for her party but my mother...
Oct 31s (Day we celebrate Anniversary) She paid the lawyer in full. Lie to me about it> i found receipt in the hearse.

OM is out of picture. Caught her talking to another man in texas that she grew up with. He's been through FOUR Divorces.... She moved in with bro. I moved in with friend.
Co-parenting very little. Where I'm at I can't have her more than a day or two at a time.

Just got my copies from lawyer yesterday. So that tells me she gave the papers to her attorney.

I got to DB too late. I begged and pleaded and pushed her away. Before I started the LRT she was still hugging me and telling me she loved me at kid exhange. I talked to her about it, i know mistake, and she quit. told ehr I thought it was progress and she stopped doing it.

I'm devestated. Been fully separated for 2 months now. I still cry every day when things hit me hard. I can't let go. I was on another forum and they got to be very rude and treating me like crap. I kept searching and found this place. Everyone seems to be much more understanding here.