Ruby, you're playing the same game I played for a long time. You can read back in my thread, I was often complaining about H not replying to emails.

My emails were all son-related, nice, chatty. I was being "the friend" but wanting more, he was being "the friend" and wanting less. He would answer when he was moved to, sometimes immediately and sometimes if he wasn't moved to, not at all.When he did answer it was to-the-point, minimum chat. I was on his roller-coaster, voluntarily.

And then occasionally he would be chatty and it would turn up the speed on the coaster!

Your H answering is really his prerogative.

We don't like it because it doesn't fit with our expectations.

And I've often said my H is the model DBer and has never read the book!

You're allowing his actions to control your emotions.

Whose actions to you have control of?

What can you do to keep off the roller coaster?

Me 57/H 58
M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13

Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do.
I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering.
Caroline Myss