PON, I opened the cage by asking my H if he was happy...after concluding that he hasn't loved me in a long time ( maybe forever before there were dinosaurs.....etc etc.) I said then he had to leave. Simple as that. I could have shut my mouth, I could have done a thousand other things but I opened the cage.
As a result, a lot of my old behaviours are beginning to change because they weren't working before. Control, need to know everything , obsessive stuff. I realize I can't control anyone except me. Don't get me wrong, I still find myself doing the control thing but at least I recognize it.
I guess what I am saying is you could always ask her to leave. Gently, kindly and with love, but strength. I am not saying she will go, but it may give you a chance to balance you a bit.
