I don't know much but a few things struck me.

someone told me this when I was pinning for my wife and good old days. they said, listen, you are in love with a fantasy..a figmant of your imagination. Something that's not real.

I see that with you where you talk about how you just want things to be perfect again. Guess what they never were.

The sooner I realized that they were right I could started the detaching process.