A newcomer's story

[justjudy]

So the new year looms. Spoke with my IC yesterday and she told me how the new year can sometimes be unexpectedly difficult. I am in a pretty good place these days but took her advice on board and thought I would share. Basically she said don't try to avoid it, don't go to bed early and wake up to just another day. Acknowledge and mark the transition. Unpack the year, decide what you will take with you into the new year, and put the rest away. Don't leave things unresolved or swept under the carpet.

I thought this was good advice. Unresolved issues can certainly come back to haunt you.

I have been reading an amazing book by an amazing guy Nick vujicic. He was born with no arms or legs but travels the world speaking about happiness, gratitude, loving yourself. It has really resonated with how I am thinking these days. Sure life is not perfect or what I expected but its still pretty cool. And I choose to be happy. Feelings are just temporary reactions to situations, they don't have to be the guiding light for your decisions. Your actions and choices don't have to be controlled by your emotions. Choose to act based on the life philosophy you have within you, your own standards of truth and integrity forged through living a life and based on what you have found to be true and authentic.

As I align myself more truly with my own personal life philosophy I find that what H is doing or choosing matters less and less. I still find some of his decisions unacceptable but I understand they are outside my control. My goal is still R but I can see that could take a while and I think the wait in limbo will be less stressful and bewildering if I can feel good about the type of person I am and have a better idea,about what I want from life and any future relationship.