SS, your post really resonates with me. I too came to a place where I was just done waiting for W and done with the lack of progress, lack of interest and general lack of respect from W. Some people can tolerate it for years while waiting to reconcile, but not me. So I moved on and started dating (I know, not DB'ing for sure). Now W is suddenly pulling closer, she actually initiated a hug about a week ago (first time in over 6 months) and there are other small signs. But the difference between your sitch and mine is I am just so over W that I have no interest in pursuing her at all. The baby steps just mean nothing to me anymore when I can see giant leaps in new relationships with a heck of a lot less effort on my part. I let my W destroy my self-worth to the point that I thought I was ugly and worthless. Now that I'm dating I've been really surprised to be told how handsome, buff and smart I am. I don't mean that to sound like boasting, I'm just saying that many of us have been so cut off from affection for so many years that we don't even realize the impact it has had on us psychologically. To suddenly hear things like that again is a revelation that life isn't over after all! I'm not saying that everyone should run out and start dating, but I am saying that ALL of us here are much more valuable then we give ourselves credit for.
